Yesterday was one of those days where everything went wrong. I woke up late, forced myself to hit the gym solo at 7:00am, forgot I had a two hour meeting that cut into my scheduled study time, the meeting times got changed over and over, I didn’t have petrol money, the microwave died on me, I spilt ketchup on my favourite jumper, was late to the meeting, didn’t study enough, found out my phone bill was a whopping £100, went overdrawn with the bank… the whole day was a pain in the ass. That hasn’t happened to me in a while. It’s funny though, that such trivial things can make you feel like punching a hole in the nearest wall. I mean it wasn’t that bad was it?
Whenever I have days like that I remember this quote from a beloved mentor/pastor of mine. “The strength of a man is determined by how much it takes to discourage him”. I love how that challenges me. Especially when I’m in one of those moments; one of those “I hate the world!” moments and I get unnecessarily annoyed at people that are just trying to encourage me. It calls me to live to a standard that I have not yet managed to build my foundations upon. That place where you aren’t affected by your circumstances but instead, you consistently affect the atmosphere around you. And sure, we mostly understand this concept on an intellectual level but I think there’s a dynamic that we just don’t seem to see in how we live day-to-day. Our lives are consistently producing something. No matter the time of day or the activities we’re involved in. Your spirit never sleeps.
But often enough we only seem to pull out the big guns when life goes wrong. It takes a serious level of discomfort and threat for us to begin “doing the stuff” i.e. manifesting Heaven on earth and ensuring that God’s goodness is more dominant than the sinful junk around us. As soon as we feel comfortable again, our focus shifts to living life. We stop. And until the shit hits the fan again we don’t do anything more than what “is required” of us. Two of the most powerful things about DaddyGod to me are His consistency and the fact He is eternal. God never changes, but at the same time He is an eternal God and we will never experience the fullness of who He is. The four cherubim described in the book of revelation are worshipping in His throne room always singing “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty!”, [I believe] because they are seeing a new side of His glory with each passing moment. He is constantly growing. That, to me, is NUTS! Totally blows me away.
And that’s what we’re called to - to growth. It’s our destiny to become more and more like an eternal God. Doesn’t that excite the crap out of you?! I love it! Our inheritance is so freaking BIG that we get to embrace and en-grain new aspects of God into the very essence of who we are, making it completely unique to our character and seeing it affects everything and everyone around us. AAAAHHH! Okay so I’m getting carried away, but hopefully you are getting this. It’s an every day thing. Not just when we get hit with temptation, confrontation or failure. We can grow more and more so that what it takes to discourage us is no longer trivial and our strength can extend into actually changing the world. We can love people beyond their differences and see God’s heart in the situations that hurt us. But this means we need to challenge ourselves. We need to see where we’re at, recognise the good, understand the lack and find out how we can grow more.
A lot of this comes down to your hunger for more. That hunger will compel you to ask God how you can do better, how you can love more sincerely, how you can step out and take the risks that scare you the most. Communicate with your God. Ask the Holy Spirit these questions. Listen. Act. And again, don’t be afraid of failure. Thomas Edison when asked why he didn’t quit after failing to make a light bulb 3,000 times said this, “I didn’t fail. I just discovered 3,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb”. There’s only one direction in the Kingdom - forward. Get steppin’!
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
Panic Prayers and Awesome Answers
So I'm taking a break from my assignments to share a couple of really relevant truths, aware that I have lots to do and I can’t play football for Canterbury Vineyard Football Club at the weekend if it isn’t all done. So this may be brief and to the point; a first for one of my blogs.
I had a mass panic on Sunday night where the devil crept in and brought up some thoughts and fears I really didn’t need. What they did was mask the reality of God’s nature. Basically I woke up fretting because as I saw, or as the enemy had made me see I had a bucket load of work to do. I am possibly the worst organised person in the world. When God gifted people with administrative skills, I missed the cut, so I was panicking because I had two essays to write, stuff to organise for the university
hockey team, plus training and a game and stuff to do at the Canterbury Vineyard warehouse this week, I also had to work some shifts in my part time job to earn a little bit of cash to eat and of course I had some lectures to go to and bits to prepare for the seminars. I didn’t sleep.
I prayed. Not for the first time in panic and desperation, asking for some sort of help because as far as I was concerned I’d left it all too late and seriously messed this one up. I told my girlfriend, and wisely she helped me plan out my week/time management. Effectively what she really said was ‘you have more time than you think’. I have no doubt that her answer was God’s answer to my prayer.
The bumper-sticker-cliche that is, ‘Dont worry about tomorrow, God is already there’ is another one of those underrated and ignored sentiments. What has he done since? Kicked me up the bottom for one.
I remembered something that happened while I was at the warehouse a couple of weeks ago. What thought I was praying into was whether or not I should do a Cause To Live For Year internship at CV next year. I basically wanted convincing that I am ‘qualified’ to do it to be honest. Instead what I got from God was an essay title. Now along with my lack of organisational skills, I also have a relatively
short attention span, my mind wanders. So for a moment I was like, ‘woah here we go again’, before I realised I hadn’t really wandered at all. What my prayer had actually ended up being wasn’t ‘Shall I do this internship? Is this what you are calling me to do?’ but more of a ‘What shall I do?’ If there is any proof that God is a joker then look no further. He knew what I was praying for, instead he took
my vague question generally and told me to write an essay. I was like, ‘Eh?’
Where I was debating things far off in the futureish (September), my focus on the immediate had been lost. Hence why I was in a panic frame of mind. God refocused me for the here and now. I have work concerns which are as much His concern as mine. Incidently the essay title He gave me was to explore the ‘role of religion in Shakespeare’s Henry V’. So Monday morning when the panic subsides
I realise that actually God has this whole thing under control. He has my future in His hands and I don’t need to worry about it yet. Let’s just get this out of the way for now. So with His backing I got a 2000 word essay done in, probably a day if you put together the hours including research. Which to my mind is absolutely ridiculous. I look for magnificent signs and wonders and miracles, and get
discouraged when I don’t see them, especially as our expectation levels are raised higher and higher. Some times is easy to pass of simplistic and relatively mundane events, such as motivation to write an essay as our own doing. But hey, I pray for help because I'm despairing that I have too much on and within two days I’ve got life sorted to a manageable, OK level. God is really, really good.
And when praying into the whole internship and trying to recognise in myself that I have pastoral giftings my prayers have also been answered to an extent. I wanted to know if this was me, so what did God do? Presented me with situations in which I could be pastoral. Nothing big and shiny and in your face. Just reoccurring situations where people have needed to chat, hang out, needed a wise word (the wisdom of course having nothing to do with me). I’ve been there to do God’s business. OK big man I get the hint.
Finally if I wanted any more evidence that God is just freakin’ awesome then I look at my girlfriend. Before Christmas she didn’t necessarily know God. Now she is hearing His heart. Just last week she said to me she felt God tell her to pray for someone.
The devil spreads lies like wildfire, no more so than when he is feeling threatened. Experience shows he is feeling threatened. Aslan is on the move. Know the goodness of God and remember it during the hard times. The hard times are there because what you are doing is good.
I had a mass panic on Sunday night where the devil crept in and brought up some thoughts and fears I really didn’t need. What they did was mask the reality of God’s nature. Basically I woke up fretting because as I saw, or as the enemy had made me see I had a bucket load of work to do. I am possibly the worst organised person in the world. When God gifted people with administrative skills, I missed the cut, so I was panicking because I had two essays to write, stuff to organise for the university
hockey team, plus training and a game and stuff to do at the Canterbury Vineyard warehouse this week, I also had to work some shifts in my part time job to earn a little bit of cash to eat and of course I had some lectures to go to and bits to prepare for the seminars. I didn’t sleep.
I prayed. Not for the first time in panic and desperation, asking for some sort of help because as far as I was concerned I’d left it all too late and seriously messed this one up. I told my girlfriend, and wisely she helped me plan out my week/time management. Effectively what she really said was ‘you have more time than you think’. I have no doubt that her answer was God’s answer to my prayer.
The bumper-sticker-cliche that is, ‘Dont worry about tomorrow, God is already there’ is another one of those underrated and ignored sentiments. What has he done since? Kicked me up the bottom for one.
I remembered something that happened while I was at the warehouse a couple of weeks ago. What thought I was praying into was whether or not I should do a Cause To Live For Year internship at CV next year. I basically wanted convincing that I am ‘qualified’ to do it to be honest. Instead what I got from God was an essay title. Now along with my lack of organisational skills, I also have a relatively
short attention span, my mind wanders. So for a moment I was like, ‘woah here we go again’, before I realised I hadn’t really wandered at all. What my prayer had actually ended up being wasn’t ‘Shall I do this internship? Is this what you are calling me to do?’ but more of a ‘What shall I do?’ If there is any proof that God is a joker then look no further. He knew what I was praying for, instead he took
my vague question generally and told me to write an essay. I was like, ‘Eh?’
Where I was debating things far off in the futureish (September), my focus on the immediate had been lost. Hence why I was in a panic frame of mind. God refocused me for the here and now. I have work concerns which are as much His concern as mine. Incidently the essay title He gave me was to explore the ‘role of religion in Shakespeare’s Henry V’. So Monday morning when the panic subsides
I realise that actually God has this whole thing under control. He has my future in His hands and I don’t need to worry about it yet. Let’s just get this out of the way for now. So with His backing I got a 2000 word essay done in, probably a day if you put together the hours including research. Which to my mind is absolutely ridiculous. I look for magnificent signs and wonders and miracles, and get
discouraged when I don’t see them, especially as our expectation levels are raised higher and higher. Some times is easy to pass of simplistic and relatively mundane events, such as motivation to write an essay as our own doing. But hey, I pray for help because I'm despairing that I have too much on and within two days I’ve got life sorted to a manageable, OK level. God is really, really good.
And when praying into the whole internship and trying to recognise in myself that I have pastoral giftings my prayers have also been answered to an extent. I wanted to know if this was me, so what did God do? Presented me with situations in which I could be pastoral. Nothing big and shiny and in your face. Just reoccurring situations where people have needed to chat, hang out, needed a wise word (the wisdom of course having nothing to do with me). I’ve been there to do God’s business. OK big man I get the hint.
Finally if I wanted any more evidence that God is just freakin’ awesome then I look at my girlfriend. Before Christmas she didn’t necessarily know God. Now she is hearing His heart. Just last week she said to me she felt God tell her to pray for someone.
The devil spreads lies like wildfire, no more so than when he is feeling threatened. Experience shows he is feeling threatened. Aslan is on the move. Know the goodness of God and remember it during the hard times. The hard times are there because what you are doing is good.
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